The mumblings of a Christian autistic husband, dad, IT guy and amateur radio operator - Will Brokenbourgh / AF7EC
The Love Letter
Before you ever saw the light of day, I loved you. Before you made that harrowing trip from your mother's womb to the doctor's waiting hands, I loved you. As you laid wrapped up, fresh skin to the world and eyes wincing from the new sensation of the world's bright lights, I loved you.
From month to month and year to year, from non-stop fussing to peaceful naps, I loved you. With each new word and each new step, I loved you. When you spilled your milk and skinned your knee, I loved you. And when you argued "No!" to your mom and got your first time-out, I loved you.
With walks in the park and the sights of things new, I loved you. Four-thousand colors and more and a mouth open in awe, I loved you. Making friends, taking baths and play-dates galore and I loved you. Old tooth is gone and a whole bunch more new, I loved you.
Nervous about school, coming home tired, restless and blue and I loved you. Anxious about grades, fitting in and that bully too, and I loved you. Fun projects with class, new subjects and views and I loved you. Passing tests, shouting "Hooray!" and feeling your best, and I loved you.
Fun at the beach, the pool and then back at home and I loved you. Your first crush, hurt feelings and then a good cry and I loved you. A family member you just saw last week, now you're saying last good-byes, and I loved you. The rain wouldn't stop, nor would your tears, and I loved you. Looking out the window at the far-away stars, and I loved you. Kneeling in prayer, asking for help, and hope, and I loved you.
So many years passed, you're all alone and things don't seem right, and I love you. New friends have come, "Dress like this!", "Hang with us tonight!" and I love you. Going the wrong way and missing your cues, but I love you. You get drunk, throw up and fall on your face and I love you.
You look in the mirror, don't recognize that face, and I love you. You shoulder the hurt and the pain and don't ask for help but I love you. The end of your life looks better each day, but I love you. When you finally give in, cry out, ask for my help and I say "I love you!"
Now we're working together, it's still tough, but the healing takes root and I love you. You have your doubts but you keep coming back and I love you. Your hand in mine, and mine in yours and I love you. Even though life is rough and your battered black and blue, I love you. It might seem like I've gone, but I'm carrying you through, and I love you. People seem distant, they seem to creep far away, but I love you. You hang on my words and follow them too, and I love you.
As family grows thin and life starts to dim, I love you. Tired and old, but you don't lose your hold, and I love you. As you say good-bye, and have a big cry, I love you.
As we finally meet face-to-face, and there's no time or space, and with a grin on your face I'll loudly proclaim "I love you!"
Love it or hate it, this is what I think a love-letter from God might sound like to someone dear to his heart. In his Word, the Bible, God clearly expresses his love for us -- over and over again. Even after proclaiming his love for us, we as human beings have spit in his face, turned our backs on him, broke his heart and rebelled against him at nearly every turn. Whenever we choose to walk away from him, we're telling him he's not enough. It's only when we recognize the hurt we've caused him, ourselves and our loved-ones and start walking toward him do we start to heal.
Give God the baggage you've been lugging around. He actually says, in the Bible, to throw your cares on him! Let the junk go, turn your back on the troublesome and empty life you've been living and give your heart to him! No, there's no secret prayer, no funny handshake or twelve-step program you have to complete to give your life to him -- so why not do that right now? Make room in your heart, and your life, for Jesus, and he'll start the healing!
God bless you, and thank you for reading!